How often do you hear someone ask, “How do you feel today?” and your go-to response is simply, “I’m fine”? I get it. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s the socially acceptable way to deal with that moment of awkwardness. But let’s be honest, how often is “fine” really the truth?

Sure, saying “I’m fine” may prevent you from having to dive into the complexities of your emotions in that moment, but is it serving you? The truth is, answering with “I’m fine” is like sweeping your feelings under the rug—temporarily hiding them so you don’t have to deal with them. But that rug is about to get pretty lumpy if you keep pretending everything’s okay.

Let’s take a deeper look at why that simple “fine” answer doesn’t cut it and how you can start giving more honest, helpful answers to yourself (and others). Ready to unpack it?

Why “I’m Fine” is Just a Mask

If you’re saying “I’m fine,” what are you really trying to say? Let’s break it down.

• “I’m fine” is a default response: It’s automatic. It’s what you say when you don’t feel like explaining yourself. It’s an easy out, especially when the real answer would take more time, energy, and maybe even a bit of vulnerability.
• “I’m fine” doesn’t say much: When you say “fine,” you aren’t sharing anything specific. Fine can mean anything from “I’m feeling okay” to “I’m barely hanging on” to “I’m struggling but I don’t want to talk about it.” So, what’s really being communicated here? Very little.
• “I’m fine” hides your true feelings: Maybe you’re not fine. Maybe you’re stressed, tired, sad, or frustrated. But telling someone you’re fine means you’re shutting down any real conversation. It’s easier to tell people you’re fine than admit you’re going through something tough. But hiding the truth behind that mask only makes it harder to confront the root cause of your feelings.
• “I’m fine” avoids accountability: A lot of people use “I’m fine” as a way of brushing off their emotions or avoiding their feelings. But guess what? Your emotions are real, and they’re not going anywhere until you face them head-on. The more you ignore them, the louder they’ll get.

The Power of Honesty in Your Emotions

You might be thinking, “Why does it matter? Why can’t I just say I’m fine?” Here’s why: Honesty about your emotions gives you the power to heal and grow.

When you recognize that your emotions matter and that it’s okay not to be “fine” all the time, you open yourself up to personal growth and healing. The key here is self-awareness—being able to take a step back and really think about how you feel instead of just hiding behind a quick “fine” response.

Here’s a little exercise for you: The next time someone asks, “How do you feel today?” instead of saying “I’m fine,” try to answer honestly. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Maybe you’re feeling tired, anxious, or frustrated. Maybe you’re feeling good but have a lot on your mind. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to say it.

It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. And you’ll be surprised how much better it feels to just express what’s really going on inside.

The Art of “Feeling” and Getting Real With Yourself

Here’s the tricky part: getting real with your feelings can be uncomfortable. Sometimes, you might not even know what you’re feeling. It’s easy to ignore emotions like anger or sadness because they don’t always feel good. But guess what? Those emotions are valid. They’re a part of your emotional toolkit. And when you learn to acknowledge them, you begin to take control.

Let’s go deeper into this. There are four basic emotional responses that everyone experiences:

1. Happy – Joy, excitement, pride, satisfaction.
2. Sad – Disappointment, loss, grief, frustration.
3. Anger – Irritation, frustration, resentment.
4. Fear – Anxiety, nervousness, worry, insecurity.

The next time someone asks how you’re feeling, instead of “I’m fine,” think about which of these emotions you’re actually experiencing. Maybe you feel happy because you had a win at work, or maybe you feel frustrated because something didn’t go as planned. Maybe you’re feeling anxious about something coming up. Identifying and expressing those emotions gives you the opportunity to address them rather than letting them simmer beneath the surface.

The Truth About “Fine”: It’s Not Enough

The truth is, when you say “I’m fine,” you might be doing yourself a disservice. It’s a quick fix that doesn’t resolve anything. And over time, saying “I’m fine” when you’re not feeling fine can lead to emotional burnout. You’re pushing your emotions aside instead of confronting them head-on.

By using phrases like, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today,” or “I’m stressed, but I’m working through it,” you’re allowing yourself to be human. It’s okay to not be okay. But the first step in feeling better is being honest about where you’re at emotionally. No one expects you to be on top of the world every day—life is complicated, and we all have ups and downs.

So, next time someone asks you how you’re feeling, take a second to think about it. Do you really feel fine? Or are you just saying it because it’s the easy thing to say? The more you practice acknowledging your feelings, the more you’ll create space for healing.

The Impact of Being Honest with Yourself

Being honest about your emotions does more than just improve your relationships with others; it also improves your relationship with yourself. It creates a space for personal growth. Here’s why this matters:

• Self-awareness improves decision-making: When you know how you’re feeling, you make better decisions that align with your needs and values. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might decide to take a step back and prioritize self-care. When you’re honest with yourself, you’re in a better position to make decisions that reflect your emotional state.
• Self-compassion nurtures emotional health: The more you allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your emotions, the more compassionate you can be with yourself. You stop pushing away discomfort and start embracing it. When you acknowledge what you’re feeling, you allow yourself to process it, which makes you more resilient.
• Communication improves: Let’s be real—when you don’t say what’s really on your mind, communication gets messy. Saying “I’m fine” instead of “I’m feeling a bit stressed right now” leads to misunderstandings and frustration. But when you’re clear about how you feel, you help others understand you better. You open up the door for real connection and support.

Wrapping It Up: How to Break the “Fine” Habit

So, how can you break free from the “I’m fine” habit? Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Start by asking yourself: Before answering “How do I feel today?” take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you feeling happy, sad, anxious, frustrated, or something else? Just acknowledging your feelings can help shift your mindset.
2. Practice honesty in small ways: You don’t need to overshare, but try being more open about your emotions with close friends and family. Say something like, “I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, but I’m working on it.” The more you practice, the easier it gets.
3. Don’t judge yourself: It’s okay to not feel “fine.” Emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are. Acknowledging how you feel without judgment is the first step toward emotional healing.
4. Seek support when needed: If you’re not fine and you’re struggling, it’s okay to reach out for help. Talking to a friend, therapist, or coach can make a huge difference in processing what you’re feeling.
5. Give yourself permission to not be fine: Life isn’t about being fine all the time. It’s about being human. Give yourself permission to experience a full range of emotions, and don’t hide behind the “fine” mask.

The Bottom Line

Next time someone asks, “How do you feel today?” try being more honest. Answer from the heart, not from habit. It’s okay to not be fine. By acknowledging your emotions, you give yourself the space to grow, heal, and become more self-aware. And that’s the real answer to how you feel today.

Look after yourself and live with intention!