Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Reflecting back on my marriage, I realize that there are a myriad of things I could have done differently. So often, life was too busy and too soon we lived separate lives which were mainly connected through responsibilities and children. But what would I really do different if I had a time-machine and could restart my marriage? Here are 30 ways I’ve found to nurture a relationship without getting caught up in elaborate plans, focusing instead on steady, practical ways to build love and trust.
1. Set Aside a Weekly Check-In Time
Instead of focusing on vision boards or relationship journals, I’ve realized that a simple, honest weekly check-in can be transformative. Choose a time – maybe over coffee or a walk – to chat about how each of you is feeling, what you need, and ways you can support each other’s goals.
2. Create a Small Ritual to Share Daily
It doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. Maybe it’s a cup of tea together before bed or a quick breakfast at your favorite café before work. Having something you consistently share helps keep the connection strong.
3. Send Thoughtful Texts
Instead of a big love letter, send a kind message here and there. A simple “Good luck today!” or “Thinking of you” before a big event can mean a lot. These small reminders of care help keep the bond alive.
4. Appreciate the Small Things
Daily acts of appreciation add up. It’s amazing how much warmth a “thank you for doing that” or “you’re really great at this” can bring. Acknowledging each other’s efforts goes a long way.
5. Cook Together at Home
Rather than spending money on pricey dates, try cooking a meal together. Whether it’s homemade pizza or breakfast for dinner, working as a team can be incredibly fun and is often just as meaningful as a night out.
6. Make a Shared Playlist
Music can evoke powerful memories. Curating a playlist together and letting it play in the background during your everyday routines brings a shared joy and adds a special touch to your time together.
7. Show Affection Non-verbally
A hug when they get home, a hand squeeze, or a simple smile across the room – these small, nonverbal gestures remind you both that you’re there for each other, even without words.
8. Leave Notes for Each Other
Leave a small note somewhere unexpected, like the bathroom mirror or the fridge. Even a simple “I appreciate you” or “Have a great day” can have a surprisingly big impact.
9. Respect Each Other’s Need for Personal Space
Time alone is essential. Taking solo walks or even just spending time in different rooms can create a healthy dynamic, helping each person recharge and then come back together feeling balanced.
10. Encourage Each Other’s Individual Goals
Supporting each other’s personal goals – whether they’re career-oriented, health-related, or hobbies – shows that you respect and value who they are as an individual. It also gives you something exciting to celebrate together.
11. Speak Openly About Your Needs
I’ve learned that it’s much better to address what you need rather than assume the other person will just know. Clear, open conversations help prevent misunderstandings and create a safe space for honesty.
12. Reminisce Together
Now and then, revisit a great memory you’ve shared. Whether it’s a day trip or a cozy night in, recalling happy times reminds you of what brought you together in the first place.
13. Try New Activities Together
It doesn’t have to be a full-on commitment like weekly dance classes – maybe just try a new trail, a different restaurant, or a new recipe. Experiencing fresh things together keeps the connection lively.
14. Give Each Other Moments of Privacy
Sometimes, respecting each other’s privacy can be as simple as letting them have their own time to relax. A balanced relationship grows stronger when each person has space to be themselves.
15. Offer a Helping Hand with Everyday Tasks
Offering to help with simple tasks, like cooking dinner on a busy night or picking up groceries, is a small but meaningful way to show consideration and care.
16. Balance Social Time with Private Time
Enjoying time together doesn’t always need an audience. Balancing social time with moments of just the two of you helps you connect more authentically.
17. Get Interested in Their Passions
It’s rewarding to explore what they’re passionate about. Whether it’s a genre of music, a sport, or a favorite book, showing interest in their world builds appreciation and understanding.
18. Create Cozy At-Home Evenings
A comfortable night in can be as enjoyable as a night out. Light some candles, put on a favorite movie, or play a game together. It’s the relaxed, no-pressure atmosphere that matters.
19. Encourage Self-Care Time
Everyone needs time to recharge. Supporting each other’s self-care, whether it’s an evening bath, reading a book, or a workout, shows that you care about their well-being.
20. Ask Genuine Questions About Their Day
Listening actively to what’s happening in their life, big or small, keeps the lines of communication open and shows that you’re truly invested in their happiness.
21. Set Joint Financial Goals
While finances aren’t the most romantic topic, having joint goals brings a sense of shared purpose and commitment. It shows that you’re building a future together.
22. Celebrate Their Everyday Wins
Celebrate their successes, no matter how small. Whether it’s a new project at work or sticking to a health goal, showing pride in their achievements brings positivity to the relationship.
23. Take Time to Explore Your Neighborhood Together
Rediscovering local spots, like nearby parks or small cafés, keeps things interesting and creates a sense of adventure without needing to plan big trips.
24. Go for Regular Walks
Walking together is a great way to unwind and talk without distractions. It’s amazing how naturally conversations flow when you’re side by side, just taking in the surroundings.
25. Make Each Other Laugh
Laughter brings levity to any relationship. Watching a comedy, telling a joke, or sharing a funny memory can lift each other’s spirits and keep things light-hearted.
26. Express Kindness and Respect Daily
Show consideration in little ways, like tidying up, sharing chores, or being attentive to their needs. These actions make home feel like a welcoming space for both of you.
27. Celebrate the Small Stuff
Acknowledging little moments – like when they’ve had a long day or achieved something they’re proud of – shows that you’re paying attention and care about their daily life.
28. Stay Physically Active Together
Being active doesn’t have to be intense. Going for a jog, stretching, or just moving around keeps you both healthy and can be a great way to bond.
29. Put Thought into Small Gifts
It’s not about expensive items – sometimes, it’s the small, thoughtful gestures that mean the most. A favorite treat, book, or a shared memory can be incredibly meaningful.
30. Allow Room for Change and Growth
Relationships change over time, and so do people. Supporting each other’s growth is crucial. Embrace the changes that come, and remember that each phase brings its own rewards.
Building a meaningful connection doesn’t require an endless string of date nights or a vacation to Europe. It’s the little things that make the real difference. Starting over after divorce has shown me that love and connection are built in small, thoughtful ways that show respect, consideration, and a willingness to grow together. Here’s to embracing the journey with a renewed outlook and a deeper sense of what truly matters
Bottomline
In the end, building a meaningful relationship doesn’t have to involve flashy gestures or a constant focus on togetherness. The small, thoughtful actions often carry the most weight. There are no time machines and I can only learn from the past. One way or the other, lasting connection is rooted in showing up every day in simple, authentic ways, respecting each other’s individuality, and committing to growing together while allowing each other the space to thrive independently. Here’s to building relationships that are both fulfilling and resilient.
