Be honest with yourself: have these thoughts crossed your mind before?
“I can quit whenever I want.”
And then we laughed and laughed… Fun aside, many alcoholics truly believe what they are saying (contrary to the evidence of broken dreams and the voices of their friends and family members). But funnily enough, the opportunity never arises for these
people to prove that this statement is true.
“Compared to Jo and Jane, I don’t have a problem at all.”
Misery likes company. And as alcoholics, we like to surround ourselves with other like-minded souls. This way we don’t feel out of place and can keep drinking until we black out.
“I can’t embarrass my friends and family.”
Guess what, dummy? They know more than you can ever imagine. If they don’t love you very much, they simply talk behind your back. If they really love you, then they have spoken out in the past and have tried to help you quit. Remember the big row you had a few weeks ago? Hmmm…
“If I admit I have a problem I will lose my job.”
Mental health and addiction management are part and parcel of modern Occupational Health and Safety schemes. Chances are,
you are not the only one who is in trouble. Gone are the times that rampant alcohol use automatically gets you fired. Rather, people
will offer help. Many workplaces in the developed world have access to EAPs (employment assistance programs). Certainly,
here in New Zealand, you have access to three psychology sessions, paid by the employer, in which you do not have to reveal
anything to the boss. Instead, it only matters that you seek help. Find out what is available in your neck of the woods and go talk
to someone.
“I can’t afford rehab.”
How about a funeral? And who is paying for your hospital stint when you are rotting away from liver failure? By the way, how
much did you spend today on booze, cigarettes and junk food? $20? $30? $100? Where did that money come from?
If money is truly the stumbling stone, check out the 3rd edition of My Steps To Sobriety!
In all fairness, no doctor will send you away if you come out and ask for help. Many will let you pay off your debt in the future. So, by spending a few dollars, you have made the first big step towards sobriety. Will you continue to tell me you can’t afford a single doctor visit, but you can afford to remain drunk?
“Rehab doesn’t work, I know shitloads of people that have relapsed.”
Me too. I am one of them. So have 80% of all addicts out there. Addiction is a chronic disease and the first year is especially difficult. But imagine you have a little daughter that is just learning to walk. There she goes, one step, a second step, and… crash. On her bottom she sits. “STOP! Everyone! No more trying. She tried. She failed. That’s it. No more walking ever!” Really? Does your argument really hold water?
“I have been to rehab. It didn’t work for me.”
This is only a variation of the theme above. Let me share a true story with you. The same day I was admitted to rehab, three girls became inmates. We were bruised and battered but we all came through the ranks.
One girl was a true professional. I can’t recall how many rehabs she had attended at the tender age of 30-something. It must have been close to a dozen. The last one was on a working farm where she was stuck picking peppers and other veggies all day long, while they had one or two teaching sessions a week. Talk about slave labor. The day of her discharge, she went straight to the first hotel she could find and got plastered. So, officially, she was nine months in rehab. And officially she failed. But is that really fair to say?
Let me give you another example. I recently bought a house in the roughest neighborhood in Rotorua and started renovating. I had a builder on board and, initially, we got on like a house on fire. Down the line, however, it became clear that I was the Golden Goose that kept laying for him. I don’t like to be taken for a ride and our relationship ended. Clearly, I have tried and failed to put a successful team together. That’s it. I should not proceed; I should walk away from the project once and for all. Right? Bullshit. I found another builder who had witnessed the previous attempt, and who was happy to be far more transparent and open. The house is now finished, and a low-income family has a beautiful, modern, clean, and healthy home to live in. A win/win for everyone! Yes, I paid heavy tuition fees, so to speak. But that’s life. If your rehab was not for you, why was that?
Were you not yet in the right place to move forward?
Or was it simply an outfit with which you could not gel whatsoever? One way or the other, try something new. Don’t give up. Get out there and learn to love your life.
“I can’t cope with my stress and depression without drugs and alcohol.”
Again, a variation of a theme. Yesterday, I saw a story in the local news. A guy had been drunk as a skunk and crashed his car into a power pole. Police were not far away, and the police officer was astounded to see the guy swigging bourbon and coke out of an unmarked plastic bottle. When challenged, he answered, “I am an alcoholic. I can’t cope with this stress”. WTF? His blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit. I wonder how he will cope with a 200kg bunk buddy called Brutus in jail? So, you deal with the stress now, when you can choose how to approach the problem. Or someone, such as a judge, will choose for you.
But in this case, there was a silver lining to the story. His drunk brain verbalized the real underlying problem here—stress and depression.
Damn, had I only realized the link myself in time. Fact was, for years, I drank alcohol to drown my sorrows. Turns out, unfortunately, that my sorrows are damn good swimmers.
In a nutshell, there are dozens of ways of getting help, and the best way forward would simple be to make an appointment with your family doctor/GP .
